I do not want to take your guns.
I do not hate you for owning them or enjoying them.
I just wanna stop people from shooting other people on purpose or on accident.
No, I'm not a gun aficionado. But I grew up in West Michigan about four hours north of Chicago where the first day of rifle season is a school holiday because so many kids are out hunting it doesn't make sense to hold school.
I don't hate your guns. I understand their value to you. I understand they are part of an enjoyable hobby. I don't think you're crazy.
Ok, if you're totin' machine guns around town, yeah, I think you've gone too far.
But if you just have a gun rack in your basement where you keep the family hunting rifles, I am so cool with you. If you just want to fire a weapon because the power of it is incredible, I'm not gonna stop you.
I would not vote for a president who wants to take your guns away. I would absolutely vote for one who wants to put some limits on where and when you can use them.
So, here's my compromise:
YOU CAN SHOOT WHATEVER YOU WANT
at a licensed gun club. You do not own the weapon. You do not leave with it. It is locked up every second it is not being rented. You can fire all the AK-47, 50 caliber whatever stuff you want.
But ONLY at the gun club.
You can keep all of your hunting RIFLES (Please, note: a semi-automatic is not a hunting rifle. If you think it is, I value your inherent divinity. I'm sorry we disagree. I am not judging you; please do not judge me. I just don't want PEOPLE shot).
I'm not taking your handguns because I know they're important and valuable and provide safety and security to you and your family.
BUT... it's like a car, man, you gotta have a license to use a deadly weapon. In every state you have to have a hunting permit. Why are you so upset at the idea of registering your weapon? You already ARE every time you go hunting. You gotta register your weapon. And you've gotta be respectful and responsible of that weapon's ability to take a life. You've got to teach your children proper gun safety so they know how to behave around a gun. It's not just about knowing how to shoot; it's about knowing when not to.
You leave a gun unattended near a child we take all of your guns and you never get another one and you are not allowed to use a firing range and we have a national list of these people that is mandatory reporting from every state..
And then you get to go to jail for your failure to adequately protect children from a deadly weapon.
And y'all I am down with friendly fire, ok. Accidents happen. But skinhead thugs (and YES I said it) having a shootout that leaves 9 dead? I don't think NO! is a strong enough word.
Talk. Discuss. Share with me and others your thoughts an ideas. Negotiate. Offer your terms. I don't care if you comment on my page, as long as I know people are reading it. But in your own lives, start working towards solutions. Please, divest yourself of the anger and mistrust that politicians and media (ON BOTH SIDES) like to control.
Forget them. Let's do this ourselves!
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Abortion Part II
Corrections and Explanations
Make abortion legal for every woman until her baby has a heartbeat. If you go to get an abortion and your child has a heartbeat, you gotta come up with another plan because you cannot have an abortion.
Feminists we're gonna have to give a little. And please read the whole thing before you freak because if you have a better idea, I'm open to it. If you have a worse idea, I'm open to it. This is a suggestion. I am offering ideas.
You cannot induce a miscarriage (evidence supplied by medical sources and NOT somebody starting gossip because they don't like you). A profile will come and talk to you in the hospital. If you've had a legit miscarriage, it's gonna be all over you so don't worry about that at all.
What I am talking about is the psychological term for a feeling or emotion: affect.
When you have experienced trauma, everyone experiences a similar emotional response. They use the same words to describe their experiences. They are either in shock and barely able to respond or they cannot stop crying. I don't care how strong a woman is you lose a baby you wanted your affect will be right. And so will Daddy's.
Forensic profilers know how to read your affect. They know what to look for, they know if something sounds off. And even if it's not the popular opinion, they are usually right because they study this stuff at Quantico.
It's important that you understand we ARE NOT talking about the insidious evil that is racial profiling.
We are not talking about oppression and discrimination.
We are talking about the study of behavior. The science of Criminal Forensic Profiling has been around since the very early 80s. The first case solved with it was Wayne Williams, who matched the profile so closely that they knew they had him(and they had some fiber evidence, but not very convincing evidence) and they were able to convict him.
Williams murdered black boys in Altanta in 1981. For months, black boys kept showing up along rivers. The police were stumped.
They called in the FBI profilers -- they called in the man who *invented* the science. His first realization was that the murderer was African-American because he moved through black neighborhoods and picked these children off the sidewalk without causing even a tiny little ripple. Nobody noticed.
Atlanta lost its mind at the suggestion that a black man was murdering black children.
But when they locked up Wayne Williams, the murders STOPPED and have never begun again.
Profiling WORKS. It is an art and a science; it is not always 100%, but it is based on the science of behavior. It is a direct descendent of Pavlov's dogs. It is studying behavior to understand the mind. It is based on FBI data about the way people who commit this crime behave. It's based on observation. It's based on interviews with serial killers and rapists and the most horrible people in the country. It's based on a career of working with victims. It's based on first hand observation of how people who have been robbed, raped, beaten behave.
They have things in common, not just traits or experiences in childhood, but behavior. Criminals and victims ALL do some of the same things. Nobody is original. They know too much about the style and behavior of crime and trauma. They know how to study affect. They know what it means when you are more nervous about getting caught than you are devastated about having been raped. They notice when you're more afraid of getting caught than you are upset that you lost your baby. People who have lost a child they already loved are grief-stricken. It's obvious. It's trauma. It's horrible.
You're not gonna get tested for anything unless it is not horrible.
SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
Women and men are gonna have to start being freaking careful. Because if they aren't -- if they get drunk and get pregnant -- they're gonna be in a world of trouble if they miss that 5 week mark.
People are going to have to take responsibility for their sexual behavior.
I'm not saying they're going to stop being promiscuous. I'm saying we're gonna force everybody to be grow up and behave responsibility when it comes to sexual activity.
(and as a side note, as we just learned in Texas, if you do not teach children how to be responsible, they will not know). Abstinence education fails to tell children that if they do decide they are old enough to make their own decisions, that they need to take these precautions so they avoid all that bad stuff.
Make abortion legal for every woman until her baby has a heartbeat. If you go to get an abortion and your child has a heartbeat, you gotta come up with another plan because you cannot have an abortion.
Feminists we're gonna have to give a little. And please read the whole thing before you freak because if you have a better idea, I'm open to it. If you have a worse idea, I'm open to it. This is a suggestion. I am offering ideas.
You cannot induce a miscarriage (evidence supplied by medical sources and NOT somebody starting gossip because they don't like you). A profile will come and talk to you in the hospital. If you've had a legit miscarriage, it's gonna be all over you so don't worry about that at all.
What I am talking about is the psychological term for a feeling or emotion: affect.
When you have experienced trauma, everyone experiences a similar emotional response. They use the same words to describe their experiences. They are either in shock and barely able to respond or they cannot stop crying. I don't care how strong a woman is you lose a baby you wanted your affect will be right. And so will Daddy's.
Forensic profilers know how to read your affect. They know what to look for, they know if something sounds off. And even if it's not the popular opinion, they are usually right because they study this stuff at Quantico.
It's important that you understand we ARE NOT talking about the insidious evil that is racial profiling.
We are not talking about oppression and discrimination.
We are talking about the study of behavior. The science of Criminal Forensic Profiling has been around since the very early 80s. The first case solved with it was Wayne Williams, who matched the profile so closely that they knew they had him(and they had some fiber evidence, but not very convincing evidence) and they were able to convict him.
Williams murdered black boys in Altanta in 1981. For months, black boys kept showing up along rivers. The police were stumped.
They called in the FBI profilers -- they called in the man who *invented* the science. His first realization was that the murderer was African-American because he moved through black neighborhoods and picked these children off the sidewalk without causing even a tiny little ripple. Nobody noticed.
Atlanta lost its mind at the suggestion that a black man was murdering black children.
But when they locked up Wayne Williams, the murders STOPPED and have never begun again.
Profiling WORKS. It is an art and a science; it is not always 100%, but it is based on the science of behavior. It is a direct descendent of Pavlov's dogs. It is studying behavior to understand the mind. It is based on FBI data about the way people who commit this crime behave. It's based on observation. It's based on interviews with serial killers and rapists and the most horrible people in the country. It's based on a career of working with victims. It's based on first hand observation of how people who have been robbed, raped, beaten behave.
They have things in common, not just traits or experiences in childhood, but behavior. Criminals and victims ALL do some of the same things. Nobody is original. They know too much about the style and behavior of crime and trauma. They know how to study affect. They know what it means when you are more nervous about getting caught than you are devastated about having been raped. They notice when you're more afraid of getting caught than you are upset that you lost your baby. People who have lost a child they already loved are grief-stricken. It's obvious. It's trauma. It's horrible.
You're not gonna get tested for anything unless it is not horrible.
SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
Women and men are gonna have to start being freaking careful. Because if they aren't -- if they get drunk and get pregnant -- they're gonna be in a world of trouble if they miss that 5 week mark.
People are going to have to take responsibility for their sexual behavior.
I'm not saying they're going to stop being promiscuous. I'm saying we're gonna force everybody to be grow up and behave responsibility when it comes to sexual activity.
(and as a side note, as we just learned in Texas, if you do not teach children how to be responsible, they will not know). Abstinence education fails to tell children that if they do decide they are old enough to make their own decisions, that they need to take these precautions so they avoid all that bad stuff.
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Abortion: A COMPROMISE
I don't hate Republicans. I don't like the extremists of every party. Luckily, most people hover around the middle. Maybe a little to the left. Maybe a little to the right. Sometimes people on the right agree with people on the left and vice versa. Because there were Reagan Democrats and Obama Republicans.
When there's someone who's making sense, we all cluster in the middle. I would vote for Arnold Swartznegger for President. As Governor of California he has forged a new path: a Progressive Conservative. He has run his state with the belief:
(and I remind you I have a mental illness)
YES WE CAN
When there's someone who's making sense, we all cluster in the middle. I would vote for Arnold Swartznegger for President. As Governor of California he has forged a new path: a Progressive Conservative. He has run his state with the belief:
YES, WE CAN
(meet each other halfway.)
I wish he could run. I understand people who want to change the law so he can. I don't agree with them, but I understand the inclination.
If you can meet me halfway, I will work with you so that both of us get our main priorities met.
I want to start such a discussion here about a very hot-button issue: Abortion.
Because I have faith in your goodness. And I have faith that your stand on that issue is what you believe is best for the COUNTRY.
So let me talk to the anti-abortion folks.
First of all, I agree with you. Abortion is murder. I don't care about laws. I don't care about politics. I don't care about God (in this instance). I don't care that I a humanist and I care about what happens to women and men when people are denied this option.
Because when I was 17, I had one.
That morning there was a spark.
That night there was not.
I don't know how else to understand that except as murder.
It was THE WORST THING I EVER DID.
It was THE BEST THING I EVER DID.
(and I remind you I have a mental illness)
It was THE ONLY THING I COULD DO.
I still cry over it. I don't feel guilty or ashamed anymore because I know I would have killed myself if I'd been forced to carry it to term. I was so deeply ashamed I couldn't let anyone know how badly I'd messed everything up. I told my parents; they made the appointment and took me because they understood it was the only way to SAVE MY LIFE.
So, I can't force another woman who DID NOT feel that spark to have a child she doesn't want.
I don't understand and am as OUTRAGED and DISGUSTED as you are with women who act like it's a TEETH CLEANING! They test my faith as I'm sure they test yours.
So, let's compromise.
I need it to be legal.
You need it not to be.
So let's give each other both of those things.
I don't know when the soul enters the body. I can't even describe what a soul is. The closest I come is a quote from the movie "Puff, The Magic Dragon":
The living thing inside of you is that which makes you laugh and cry
that which makes apples crisp
and tells you nose to tingle on a cold winter's morning.
I don't know when that happens.
But even if you don't trust or believe scientists, WE CAN ALL AGREE ON ONE THING: if your heart ain't beating, YOU ARE NOT ALIVE.
The heartbeat begins around five weeks.
Before that, common medical sense says you are not alive.
Make abortion legal for EVERYBODY for the first 5 weeks.
Give women who have been raped or are suicidal 10 weeks -- because I KNEW I was pregnant, but I couldn't deal with it for a little while because I knew what I had to do and I couldn't face it.
If you're stupid and you get pregnant by accident because you were drunk or FORGOT to take birth control or just MESSED UP and you miss the 5 week cut off:
SUCK IT UP!!!!!!!!!!
SUCK IT UP!!!!!!!!!!
Women who miss the five week cut off (or 10 week is she is psychologically traumatized) must be interviewed by an FBI trained Forensic Profile -- because those people can READ a person's language, tone, word choice, body language, micro-expressions -- EVERYTHING. They KNOW how a rape victim sounds. They KNOW how a liar moves. They can walk in the room, look at her for 10 seconds without her having to say a word and KNOW if she's faking it.
The good ones can. There are detectives like Law and Order: Criminal Intent's Robert Goren. They don't have all his quirks; they don't have all his knowledge, but they research as much as he does. They study, they train, they learn because they ARE GOOD at catching bad guys.
You fake a rape story, you are prosecuted for perjury.
And to encourage people to suck it up we are going to make OPEN ADOPTIONS easy, legal and freely available through the non-profits and the state agencies that already exist. And if we can, if we want a have babies, we agree to CONSIDER having one and ADOPTING ONE.
Women who physically cannot bear a child without plausibly AND PROBABLY losing their lives, do not have a time limit. If a pregnancy reaches that point at any time, if that is what has to be done, we let it happen and we allow that mother and that father to mourn in private.
Because that's what I want you to understand about my abortion. It was a choice, but it FELT like a miscarriage. And it WAS my fault. I grieve for my child. I wonder what zie would have looked like, grown up to be, been interested in. Could zie write? Would zie hate mushrooms, too? Would zie look like her father? (who did not rape me. I was suicidal because I was mentally ill and I made the worst mistake of my life and I knew it was the worst mistake of my whole life. I had a High School Principal who was awesome. He told us, "You are your own BEST FRIEND and your own WORST ENEMY" and the mistakes you make now will live with you forever.
I knew he was right.
And he is. It still lives with me.
Don't think that a decent woman who makes a mistake and catches it in the 5 week period doesn't feel guilt or shame or sorrow. A decent human being is sorry she messed up this bad and baby, you don't deserve this, but I have to for so many reasons. And I love you and it's killing me.
Does that work for everyone?
Please, discuss in the comments. Remain civil. Remain polite. There are real people on the other end of your cable. This is a difficult issue for all of us. I need you to agree to stay calm and discuss and control your emotions and be MATURE ADULTS who HAVE FAITH that we are all just trying to do what we believe in the depths of our BEINGS is RIGHT.
It's not about being right or wrong. Politicians tell you that to keep your fighting so you don't pay attention to the greedy thieving and whoring they're doing.
It's about COMPROMISE. It's about finding a solution we can all live with that gives us an OUT of this massive, angry, hostile social, medical, gendered, sexual problem.
YES WE CAN
WORK TOGETHER TO SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS
#4 FAITH IN ACTION
http://www.upworthy.com/more-than-44000-people-came-together-to-set-the-guinness-world-record-for-reforestation?c=ufb1
Planting trees as a community of 44,000 people because trees eat carbon dioxide and they're beautiful and peaceful and one of the best things on this planet (right up there with pets and flowers and gardening and good, healthy, FRESH, GORGEOUS PRODUCE). I have a theory I do want to test scientifically with Mr. deGrasse Tyson. I want to ask him, because trees to breathe in carbon dioxide and breathe out oxygen -- if we planted MILLIONS OF THEM on EVERY SINGLE SQUARE INCH WE HAVE AVAILABLE -- could we save the planet from Global Warming and improve the environment and begin again to treat our Spiritual, Chemcial, Source of Life, TRUE MOTHER as we do with our own and our friends with Mother's Day?
And can we turn Earth Day into Mother's Day? (and thereby give something back to the woman who invented it and wanted it to be a feminism celebration between women and regretted starting it when it turned commercial and became about Republican Motherhood (see history))
Can we live our faith to save each other and the Earth...
And ourselves?
Planting trees as a community of 44,000 people because trees eat carbon dioxide and they're beautiful and peaceful and one of the best things on this planet (right up there with pets and flowers and gardening and good, healthy, FRESH, GORGEOUS PRODUCE). I have a theory I do want to test scientifically with Mr. deGrasse Tyson. I want to ask him, because trees to breathe in carbon dioxide and breathe out oxygen -- if we planted MILLIONS OF THEM on EVERY SINGLE SQUARE INCH WE HAVE AVAILABLE -- could we save the planet from Global Warming and improve the environment and begin again to treat our Spiritual, Chemcial, Source of Life, TRUE MOTHER as we do with our own and our friends with Mother's Day?
And can we turn Earth Day into Mother's Day? (and thereby give something back to the woman who invented it and wanted it to be a feminism celebration between women and regretted starting it when it turned commercial and became about Republican Motherhood (see history))
Can we live our faith to save each other and the Earth...
And ourselves?
LIVING YOUR FAITH
I lived my faith today.
I went out into the world and greeted everyone with a warm smile. I talked to strangers waiting for the bus. I talked to the guys working Chipolte. I talked to a friend. With everyone I met, everyone who's eyes I caught, I made sure to show them in my expression, in the windows to my soul, in the sound of my voice that I valued and cherished the innate unique value they bring to the world. I valued the divine in them.
I smiled at a young girl as she walked into the restaurant and she scoffed and gave me this irritated expression and normally that would have upset me, but today, I saw how young she was. I saw how hard is it to be a teenager. I saw how much attitude she has to have to survive as a young woman in a patriarchal society where she is constantly interrupted, constantly treated as less than, constantly taught that other women are her enemies, constantly taught that kindness is weakness.
I felt for that child. A sister of the moon. A daughter of the divine. I felt for her because at her tender age, being hard is the only way you know to be strong.
I prayed for her. I prayed she would come through the next decade unscathed. I prayed she would learn to know that having a lot of good women in your life -- of all ages -- is one of the best resources you can develop.
I am not blaming men for anything. I know that while there are advantages for you, there are also unintended consequences. Like the fact that if you get divorced if you're LUCKY you'll get joint custody and if you're NOT you are only gonna see your kids FOUR DAYS A MONTH.
That's rough, guys. I know. That's hard. I'm sorry. I would be willing to work that out with you if you would be willing to work out the equal pay for equal work thing with me.
We can give and take. Ladies, my fellow feminists, my sisters, we're gonna have to forgive to get anywhere. We're gonna have to trust the good men -- and there are a lot of them -- in this world. I know the bad men get all the attention, but the good men are just quietly being loving, wonderful, amazing husbands, fathers, friends, and family to everyone they love. We don't give them enough support or recognition for that.
We need to.
And no matter how messy the divorce, how painful, how angry; do not deny the father of your children the right to see his babies unless he is violent or abusive or an addict or unloving or intentionally hurtful. Or if he "forgets" the kid's birthday party, you know? If he doesn't deserve them -- if he is no longer the man you married -- not to you, but to THEM, if he is NOT a good father, keep those babies safe from him.
But if he is still a good man and the two you just cannot work it out because your lives have taken separate paths, please, let that good man have equal custody of the children you share with him.
Will Smith had a son with a girlfriend when he was a young man. It didn't work out, and he was very upset with himself because he DID NOT want that to happen. He didn't want to be THAT black man -- he wanted to be a good husband and a good dad, and he wanted to give his child a loving home with his mom and his dad forever.
It didn't work out that way. And soon after, Mr. Smith met the woman of his dreams and said (and I'm paraphrasing because I haven't seen the interview in a while, but this is the jist of what he said) -- because the mother of my child and my wife were so mature, we were able to blend our families.
Don't take your child from a man like that. Don't take your child from a man who LOVES Mr. Smith's song, "Just The Two of Us."
But I digress...
I walked into the world today living my faith. I was the change I wanted to see in the world with everyone, and if they did not respond in kind, I tried to understand with compassion rather than judgement.
And because I did, my faith was reciprocated by a stranger who I may or may not ever see again on the bus.
That is how I changed the world today.
I went out into the world and greeted everyone with a warm smile. I talked to strangers waiting for the bus. I talked to the guys working Chipolte. I talked to a friend. With everyone I met, everyone who's eyes I caught, I made sure to show them in my expression, in the windows to my soul, in the sound of my voice that I valued and cherished the innate unique value they bring to the world. I valued the divine in them.
I smiled at a young girl as she walked into the restaurant and she scoffed and gave me this irritated expression and normally that would have upset me, but today, I saw how young she was. I saw how hard is it to be a teenager. I saw how much attitude she has to have to survive as a young woman in a patriarchal society where she is constantly interrupted, constantly treated as less than, constantly taught that other women are her enemies, constantly taught that kindness is weakness.
I felt for that child. A sister of the moon. A daughter of the divine. I felt for her because at her tender age, being hard is the only way you know to be strong.
I prayed for her. I prayed she would come through the next decade unscathed. I prayed she would learn to know that having a lot of good women in your life -- of all ages -- is one of the best resources you can develop.
I am not blaming men for anything. I know that while there are advantages for you, there are also unintended consequences. Like the fact that if you get divorced if you're LUCKY you'll get joint custody and if you're NOT you are only gonna see your kids FOUR DAYS A MONTH.
That's rough, guys. I know. That's hard. I'm sorry. I would be willing to work that out with you if you would be willing to work out the equal pay for equal work thing with me.
We can give and take. Ladies, my fellow feminists, my sisters, we're gonna have to forgive to get anywhere. We're gonna have to trust the good men -- and there are a lot of them -- in this world. I know the bad men get all the attention, but the good men are just quietly being loving, wonderful, amazing husbands, fathers, friends, and family to everyone they love. We don't give them enough support or recognition for that.
We need to.
And no matter how messy the divorce, how painful, how angry; do not deny the father of your children the right to see his babies unless he is violent or abusive or an addict or unloving or intentionally hurtful. Or if he "forgets" the kid's birthday party, you know? If he doesn't deserve them -- if he is no longer the man you married -- not to you, but to THEM, if he is NOT a good father, keep those babies safe from him.
But if he is still a good man and the two you just cannot work it out because your lives have taken separate paths, please, let that good man have equal custody of the children you share with him.
Will Smith had a son with a girlfriend when he was a young man. It didn't work out, and he was very upset with himself because he DID NOT want that to happen. He didn't want to be THAT black man -- he wanted to be a good husband and a good dad, and he wanted to give his child a loving home with his mom and his dad forever.
It didn't work out that way. And soon after, Mr. Smith met the woman of his dreams and said (and I'm paraphrasing because I haven't seen the interview in a while, but this is the jist of what he said) -- because the mother of my child and my wife were so mature, we were able to blend our families.
Don't take your child from a man like that. Don't take your child from a man who LOVES Mr. Smith's song, "Just The Two of Us."
But I digress...
I walked into the world today living my faith. I was the change I wanted to see in the world with everyone, and if they did not respond in kind, I tried to understand with compassion rather than judgement.
And because I did, my faith was reciprocated by a stranger who I may or may not ever see again on the bus.
That is how I changed the world today.
#2
I'm tired of this being blamed on a LOVING, BEAUTIFUL higher power -- or the IDEA of a loving beautiful higher power. I'm tired of people using our Lord, our Goddess, our Spiritual Parent(s), our Prophets and our Saviors as an excuse for hatred. This is why I started this blog (if the link doesn't work, please let me know)
*disclaimer from previous post applies. I am not endorsing the facebook page or the organization. I am endorsing the comment on the photo. That is all. And I am endorsing it because I agree with it -- not because of who said it.
https://www.facebook.com/theskepticsguide/photos/a.10150497216386605.426482.16599501604/10153267169676605/?type=1
*disclaimer from previous post applies. I am not endorsing the facebook page or the organization. I am endorsing the comment on the photo. That is all. And I am endorsing it because I agree with it -- not because of who said it.
https://www.facebook.com/theskepticsguide/photos/a.10150497216386605.426482.16599501604/10153267169676605/?type=1
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