LIVING YOUR FAITH

I lived my faith today.

I went out into the world and greeted everyone with a warm smile.  I talked to strangers waiting for the bus.  I talked to the guys working Chipolte.  I talked to a friend.  With everyone I met, everyone who's eyes I caught, I made sure to show them in my expression, in the windows to my soul, in the sound of my voice that I valued and cherished the innate unique value they bring to the world.  I valued the divine in them.

I smiled at a young girl as she walked into the restaurant and she scoffed and gave me this irritated expression and normally that would have upset me, but today, I saw how young she was.  I saw how hard is it to be a teenager.  I saw how much attitude she has to have to survive as a young woman in a patriarchal society where she is constantly interrupted, constantly treated as less than, constantly taught that other women are her enemies, constantly taught that kindness is weakness.

I felt for that child.  A sister of the moon.  A daughter of the divine.  I felt for her because at her tender age, being hard is the only way you know to be strong.

I prayed for her.  I prayed she would come through the next decade unscathed.  I prayed she would learn to know that having a lot of good women in your life -- of all ages -- is one of the best resources you can develop. 

I am not blaming men for anything.  I know that while there are advantages for you, there are also unintended consequences.  Like the fact that if you get divorced if you're LUCKY you'll get joint custody and if you're NOT you are only gonna see your kids FOUR DAYS A MONTH.

That's rough, guys.  I know.  That's hard.  I'm sorry.  I would be willing to work that out with you if you would be willing to work out the equal pay for equal work thing with me.

We can give and take.  Ladies, my fellow feminists, my sisters, we're gonna have to forgive to get anywhere.  We're gonna have to trust the good men -- and there are a lot of them -- in this world.  I know the bad men get all the attention, but the good men are just quietly being loving, wonderful, amazing husbands, fathers, friends, and family to everyone they love.  We don't give them enough support or recognition for that.

We need to.

And no matter how messy the divorce, how painful, how angry; do not deny the father of your children the right to see his babies unless he is violent or abusive or an addict or unloving or intentionally hurtful.  Or if he "forgets" the kid's birthday party, you know?  If he doesn't deserve them -- if he is no longer the man you married -- not to you, but to THEM, if he is NOT a good father, keep those babies safe from him.

But if he is still a good man and the two you just cannot work it out because your lives have taken separate paths, please, let that good man have equal custody of the children you share with him.

Will Smith had a son with a girlfriend when he was a young man.  It didn't work out, and he was very upset with himself because he DID NOT want that to happen.  He didn't want to be THAT black man -- he wanted to be a good husband and a good dad, and he wanted to give his child a loving home with his mom and his dad forever. 

It didn't work out that way.  And soon after, Mr. Smith met the woman of his dreams and said (and I'm paraphrasing because I haven't seen the interview in a while, but this is the jist of what he said) -- because the mother of my child and my wife were so mature, we were able to blend our families.

Don't take your child from a man like that.  Don't take your child from a man who LOVES Mr. Smith's song, "Just The Two of Us."

But I digress...

I walked into the world today living my faith.  I was the change I wanted to see in the world with everyone, and if they did not respond in kind, I tried to understand with compassion rather than judgement.

And because I did, my faith was reciprocated by a stranger who I may or may not ever see again on the bus. 

That is how I changed the world today.