The Bible and Homosexuality

For those of you who believe The Bible outlaws homosexuality:

YOU ARE READING THE BIBLE WRONG!

1. Because the New Testament of Jesus Christ replaced the Old Testament (and Jesus said nothing about homosexuality, and yes, he would have been aware of it, so if he'd had anything against it, he would've said so)

and

2. You are misreading the Old Testament anyway.

Because the fact that the Old Testament was written 3,000 to 4,000 years ago automatically means it is an historical document.  I have a Master's degree in History, so I know a thing or two about reading historical documents.

With every historical document, you must know the context in which the work was produced if you are to truly understand its meaning to the people for whom it was written.

The Old Testament was written at the beginning of civilization to teach men how to be civilized.  This was of utmost importance because, at the time, the survival of civilization, AND the survival of the human race were not guaranteed.

So, the writers of the Old Testament (whether you believe they were divinely inspired or not) were not interested in the morality of any sexual act.

They were interested in bringing more people into the world every year than they lost through disease, accident or murder.

The fact is not only was homosexuality a sin, so was every non-reproductive release of semen:  nocturnal emissions, oral sex, even bestiality.  Yet, despite the modern interpretation, none of these things was "abhorrent to God."  They were simple sins that required no more than a cleansing in Holy water.  Every home at the time was built with a small, stone pool, which was blessed by a rabbi, for just this reason.

What the writer's of the Old Testament *actually meant* and how the men of the time interpreted their words, was thus:

When every woman in your household (your wife, your daughters-in law, your slaves and servants) is pregnant or nursing, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, until then MAKE BABIES!

And p.s. after doing whatever you want, please, dunk yourself in this here pool of Holy water.

So, if you want to be historically and Biblically accurate about homosexuality, here's what we'll do:  we'll get a local rabbi to bless the municipal water supply.  Then, whenever ANY man releases semen for any other reason than to make a baby, all he will have to do is take a shower to absolve himself of the sin.

That's it.

That is the solution to the so-called "problem" of homosexuality. 

Anybody who tells you otherwise has not accurately read The Bible.