Abortion: A COMPROMISE

I don't hate Republicans.  I don't like the extremists of every party.  Luckily, most people hover around the middle.  Maybe a little to the left.  Maybe a little to the right.  Sometimes people on the right agree with people on the left and vice versa.  Because there were Reagan Democrats and Obama Republicans.

When there's someone who's making sense, we all cluster in the middle.  I would vote for Arnold Swartznegger for President.  As Governor of California he has forged a new path: a Progressive Conservative.  He has run his state with the belief:

YES, WE CAN

(meet each other halfway.)

 I wish he could run.  I understand people who want to change the law so he can.  I don't agree with them, but I understand the inclination.

If you can meet me halfway, I will work with you so that both of us get our main priorities met.

I want to start such a discussion here about a very hot-button issue:  Abortion.

Because I have faith in your goodness.  And I have faith that your stand on that issue is what you believe is best for the COUNTRY.

So let me talk to the anti-abortion folks.

First of all, I agree with you.  Abortion is murder.  I don't care about laws.  I don't care about politics.  I don't care about God (in this instance).  I don't care that I a humanist and I care about what happens to women and men when people are denied this option.

Because when I was 17, I had one.  

That morning there was a spark.

That night there was not.

I don't know how else to understand that except as murder.

It was THE WORST THING I EVER DID.

It was THE BEST THING I EVER DID.

(and I remind you I have a mental illness)

It was THE ONLY THING I COULD DO.

I still cry over it.  I don't feel guilty or ashamed anymore because I know I would have killed myself if I'd been forced to carry it to term.  I was so deeply ashamed I couldn't let anyone know how badly I'd messed everything up.  I told my parents; they made the appointment and took me because they understood it was the only way to SAVE MY LIFE.

So, I can't force another woman who DID NOT feel that spark to have a child she doesn't want.

I don't understand and am as OUTRAGED and DISGUSTED as you are with women who act like it's a TEETH CLEANING!  They test my faith as I'm sure they test yours.

So, let's compromise.

I need it to be legal.

You need it not to be.

So let's give each other both of those things.

I don't know when the soul enters the body.  I can't even describe what a soul is.  The closest I come is a quote from the movie "Puff, The Magic Dragon":

The living thing inside of you is that which makes you laugh and cry

 that which makes apples crisp 

and tells you nose to tingle on a cold winter's morning.

I don't know when that happens. 

But even if you don't trust or believe scientists, WE CAN ALL AGREE ON ONE THING:  if your heart ain't beating, YOU ARE NOT ALIVE.

The heartbeat begins around five weeks.

Before that, common medical sense says you are not alive.

Make abortion legal for EVERYBODY for the first 5 weeks.

Give women who have been raped or are suicidal 10 weeks -- because I KNEW I was pregnant, but I couldn't deal with it for a little while because I knew what I had to do and I couldn't face it.

If you're stupid and you get pregnant by accident because you were drunk or FORGOT to take birth control or just MESSED UP and you miss the 5 week cut off:

SUCK IT UP!!!!!!!!!!

Women who miss the five week cut off (or 10 week is she is psychologically traumatized) must be interviewed by an FBI trained Forensic Profile -- because those people can READ a person's language, tone, word choice, body language, micro-expressions -- EVERYTHING.  They KNOW how a rape victim sounds.  They KNOW how a liar moves.  They can walk in the room, look at her for 10 seconds without her having to say a word and KNOW if she's faking it.

The good ones can.  There are detectives like Law and Order: Criminal Intent's Robert Goren.  They don't have all his quirks; they don't have all his knowledge, but they research as much as he does.  They study, they train, they learn because they ARE GOOD at catching bad guys.

You fake a rape story, you are prosecuted for perjury.

And to encourage people to suck it up we are going to make OPEN ADOPTIONS easy, legal and freely available through the non-profits and the state agencies that already exist.  And if we can, if we want a have  babies, we agree to CONSIDER having one and ADOPTING ONE.

Women who physically cannot bear a child without plausibly AND PROBABLY losing their lives, do not have a time limit.  If a pregnancy reaches that point at any time, if that is what has to be done, we let it happen and we allow that mother and that father to mourn in private.

Because that's what I want you to understand about my abortion.  It was a choice, but it FELT like a miscarriage.  And it WAS my fault.  I grieve for my child.  I wonder what zie would have looked like, grown up to be, been interested in.  Could zie write?  Would zie hate mushrooms, too?  Would zie look like her father? (who did not rape me.  I was suicidal because I was mentally ill and I made the worst mistake of my life and I knew it was the worst mistake of my whole life.  I had a High School Principal who was awesome.  He told us, "You are your own BEST FRIEND and your own WORST ENEMY" and the mistakes you make now will live with you forever.

I knew he was right.

And he is.  It still lives with me.

Don't think that a decent woman who makes a mistake and catches it in the 5 week period doesn't feel guilt or shame or sorrow.  A decent human being is sorry she messed up this bad and baby, you don't deserve this, but I have to for so many reasons.  And I love you and it's killing me.

Does that work for everyone?

Please, discuss in the comments.  Remain civil.  Remain polite.  There are real people on the other end of your cable.  This is a difficult issue for all of us.  I need you to agree to stay calm and discuss and control your emotions and be MATURE ADULTS who HAVE FAITH that we are all just trying to do what we believe in the depths of our BEINGS is RIGHT.

It's not about being right or wrong.  Politicians tell you that to keep your fighting so you don't pay attention to the greedy thieving and whoring they're doing.

It's about COMPROMISE.  It's about finding a solution we can all live with that gives us an OUT of this massive, angry, hostile social, medical, gendered, sexual problem.

YES WE CAN

WORK TOGETHER TO SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS